never play flip cup with pint glasses
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
