What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
