four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
