I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
