I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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