lets start a swedish sibling band together
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
