if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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