I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
