you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
