i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
