just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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