Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
