Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
