But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
