it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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