**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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