I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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