JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
