i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
