i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
