Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
