what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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