Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
