So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
