why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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