I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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