Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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