Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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