I love black thongs
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
