i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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