you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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