I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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