if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No subtext here. People are naked.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
50% drunk capacity currently
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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