well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Mom said you looked used
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
