my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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