the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
