I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
