Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
