the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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