I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
