The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
its liver damage thursday
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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