do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
