Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
