I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
