Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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