watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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