It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
