sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
