i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
