dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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