I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Where is the hickey?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
