I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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