Porn is love you can see.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
