VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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